Tortured
by SpacePrincess'xo
Summary: As the rest of the Rebels celebrate the end of the Empire, an anguished Princess Leia slips away from the party to be alone with her thoughts and feelings about the villain that has rocked her life: her father, Darth Vader. One-shot.


_**Hi! :)**_

 _ **My name's Chloe, and I'm new to Star Wars fanfiction. Actually, I'm new to Star Wars. I came to the fandom as a Carrie Fisher fan and completely fell in love with the Original Trilogy.**_

 _ **I've just started to read into the EU, so anything that I write for now will not centre around EU novels. (Any suggestions of where to start would be greatly appreciated!).**_

 _ **This one-shot is kind of just a ramble that is designed for me to test the waters when it comes to Star Wars fanfiction. I really want to know how big the audience is, what they like to read and what I can do to create a story that works. I've never had a beta reader reader before, but if this is how the process is usually done then I am open to the concept. I've only ever written for smaller fandoms before so this is all very new to me!**_

 _ **The story is set right after ROTJ finishes. It's a scene that I kind of wish we'd had. I would really appreciate any comments, reviews and direction - I'm pretty nervous about posting this. I have a couple of ideas for multi-chapter fics, but I want to see how this goes first.**_

 _ **Thank you so much for reading!**_

 _ **Chloe xoxo**_

oooooooooo

Tortured

The faint murmur of a true celebration led by the most excitable of creatures buzzed in the distance. The Ewoks certainly knew how to throw a party, and seemed keen to continue the festivities well into the early hours of the morning. It had also become apparent within the last couple of hours that the merry band of drunken Rebels were more than happy to oblige to their demand. For one Rebel, the celebrations had become too much, and Leia had slipped out of the party while the others were distracted by Han and Lando performing some fancy party trick they'd learned during their time as smugglers.

The darkness had brought with it a crisp chill, and Leia hugged herself tightly, the thin material of her dress providing little protection against the bitter breeze surrounding her. The trees peppered along the outskirt of the forest to which she'd escaped gave her some shelter at least. She carried on walking, until the cheerful party music was nothing more than a weak hum stirring from behind her, eventually finding a tree stump and perching on the edge of it. She breathed in deeply and held her breath. So much had happened throughout the course of the last twenty-four hours that she hadn't had time to sit and contemplate the effect that recent revelations would have on her life.

Her lungs started to ache, so she slowly released her breath, and with it, a tear that had been pent up for days. It left a moist trail down the length of her cheek, and as it touched her lip, she could taste the salt on her tongue. She didn't care enough to wipe it away. Leia doubted she would ever care about something so menial as a tear again.

As she glanced up at the sky, to the empty space which had earlier been filled with a blinding display of smoke and light, a shudder coursed down her spine. It wasn't the knowledge of what could have been that bothered her – the fact that Luke, her good friend and new-found twin brother, almost died in the explosion – it was the truth of what was. Vader was dead now. But until that point, he had watched her with a desire to kill pumping through his veins. He had stalked Leia and her Rebel friends, unable to rest until he had destroyed every last one of them and ended the Alliance's threat to his precious Empire. Not exactly the love and kindness that most would expect of a father.

 _Father_. Leia couldn't bring herself to say the word aloud; it tasted bitter in the back of her throat. The things that he had done were unforgivable. And that was only taking into consideration his recent history – if Leia thought back to her time spent on the Death Star, her stomach lurched and a cold sweat broke out across every inch of her skin, even more so now than it had before. Vader may not have been aware of his role in Leia's creation at the time, but that didn't ease the sickening bubble of hatred that had become a constant presence inside her whenever she thought of him. Vader had destroyed her in a manner that many would consider worse than outright murder.

Suddenly, Leia flinched in panic as she sensed footsteps behind her, though found herself staring into further darkness. Seconds later, though, a tall figure came into view – too far for Leia to have heard. She blinked in surprise, before almost laughing to herself. Of course she had felt him long before human ears would have been able to pick up the crunch of the leaves beneath his feet. That was yet another trait that Vader had cursed her with.

"Leia?" Han called out, squinting at the small shadow curled up on a tree trunk at the edge of the forest, "Leia, is that you?" A faint smile tugged at the corners of Leia's lips.

"No, it's Chewie," she teased half-heartedly, resuming her previous stance of crossing her arms across her chest to retain body heat as she rose to her feet, "Can't a girl get a moment's piece around here?"

"Not when she has a handsome, impatient Corellian waiting for her down at the party," came Han's playful reply as he stepped in front of her, towering over the little princess from his height of over six feet. His eyes dropped down to her closed arms and the goosebumps that had risen across the exposed skin of her chest, and his expression changed to one of concern. "You're freezing…" he observed, "Why don't you come back down and we'll steal you a jacket from one of the strike team?" Glancing over Han's shoulder at the flickering light in the distance, marking the bonfire at the centre of the celebrations, Leia quickly shook her head.

"I like it here. It's peaceful." Without saying another word, Han moved closer to her and wrapped his strong arms around her, gently running his warm hands up and down her shoulders. Leia's eyelids fluttered shut in contentment. They remained still and silent for what was likely to have been only a few minutes, but to the new couple could have happily lasted for hours. That was one of the beauties of their relationship; they were so comfortable with each other, and had been through so much together, that there was no need to seek acceptance from one another. They could just exist side-by-side and be completely themselves. Eventually, however, Leia mumbled a barely-audible sound against Han's chest. "I feel numb." Han released her from his embrace and bent slightly to her level, coaxing her chin up so that he could look into her doe-like brown eyes.

"Because of the cold?" he asked. Again, Leia shook her head.

"I don't know how to feel. I… I feel like everything about my life before all this was one big lie."

"… Because of Luke?"

"Not just Luke. If I were just gaining a brother, I could handle it. But my parents, my life on Alderaan… Everything that I knew before-… Before I met you, it's just gone. Like it shouldn't have existed in the first place." At her words, Han furrowed his brows in confusion. He hadn't picked up on the way that her body had stiffened as the words 'Death Star' almost escaped her lips.

"But Leia, you always knew you were adopted," he pointed out as an attempt to be helpful, placing his hands on her shoulders. He was right; throughout their many conversations about their histories over the years, Leia had always mentioned how the subject of her adoption had not been a controversial one in the royal household – she even had a few vague memories of her birth mother, though she wasn't sure if she'd merely imagined them. Of course, he didn't know what being Luke's sister truly entailed. And as Leia studied him carefully, the depth of the concern for her that was present in his eyes prompting a flutter of butterflies in her stomach, she wondered if what she was about to tell him would alter the course of their relationship completely.

"Vader was Luke's father." Han's reaction wasn't immediate. It took a good few seconds for her words to process in his brain, for the realisation of the connection to actually sink in. When it did, his hands dropped from her shoulders, and his mouth fell open in an almost comical manner. He didn't speak at first, simply staring at her in horror until he regained the ability to talk.

"Vader…?" he questioned, "So…?" Leia merely nodded, before dropping her head and turning her back to him, unable to look at the disappointment in his face anymore.

"Yes." She blinked quickly as tears pricked her eyes, and she took a long, deep breath in an attempt to slow her pounding heart. She didn't blame him for being disgusted by her. How could he not be? She was the spawn of one of the most evil men in the galaxy. A man who had destroyed thousands of lives, including those of her own family. She just wanted him to leave, to return to the party and let her be alone with her dark thoughts. She couldn't handle any more heartbreak tonight. But suddenly, she felt a pair of arms snake around her tiny waist, hands linking at her stomach, and the soft brush of lips against her cold cheek. She flinched, though quickly reminded herself that she was safe with Han.

"Oh, Leia…" he mumbled, his breath warm and pleasant against her ear. A shiver rippled down her spine. Leia took her time to consider her next words, trying to encourage her body to relax into Han's embrace and appreciate the comfort that he provided.

"It's just brought a lot of very raw feelings back, things that I'd buried at the back of my mind while we fought this Rebellion. It makes the memories seem so different, so much more personal."

"You mean the Death Star?" A jolt of fear suddenly rushed through her and she span around, taking a wary step away from him. Han stared at her in surprise as her eyes widened with fear and filled with a flurry of tears. Leia never cried. In fact, he could only think of two occasions where he'd seen the strong princess shed a tear. The most recent was only days ago, when Luke had decided to take on Vader single-handedly in what they all believed to be a suicide mission. The first time had been after the Medal Ceremony, way back during their days on Yavin; he'd passed her room and heard her sobbing softly, and had checked on her through the crack in the doorway. But she'd never known.

"Don't make me talk about it. Please, Han," she begged him. She couldn't put on her usual mask of composure when her emotions were so raw and her wounds so open.

"Hey, sweetheart… We don't have to talk about anything," Han promised her, softly, wrapping her up in his arms once again and holding her tightly to his chest, "We can just stay here as long as you need to." He didn't need her to tell her story out loud. His own dealings with Vader gave him a pretty good idea of what had occurred on the Death Star. The thought of a father hurting his own daughter in such a way was so disturbing that Han could barely control his emotions himself. Being angry at a dead man would do nobody any good. Instead, he held his princess, and rubbed soothing circles across her back to comfort her as she breathed in sharp gasps. Leia, meanwhile, squeezed her eyes shut and tried to distract her mind with more pleasant thoughts. Unfortunately, that proved to be a difficult task in present circumstances.

Han slowly drew her over to the tree stump and sat with his back to the party, guiding her to perch on his lap. He moved her hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear, revelling in how beautiful she looked with her long locks cascading down her back. Studying her tear-streaked face, he brushed a stray tear from her cheek, shooting her a small, reassuring smile as her breathing began to normalise.

"You okay?" She nodded, a pinkish tinge appearing in the apples of her cheeks.

"I'm sorry…" she mumbled, suddenly feeling anxious, humiliated and weak all in one hit, "I don't know what's wrong with me." As she went to rise to her feet, Han lightly placed his hands on her shoulders, keeping her in place.

"You're human," he responded, shooting her a small smile of understanding, before allowing it to become a teasing smirk, "I'm glad to see you're capable of emotion." Leia's frown vanished as she lightly thumped Han across the chest, earning a laugh from her lover. The pair eventually fell into silence, and Han took the time to examine every inch of the soft, smooth skin of Leia's face, and the way that her eyelashes sat prettily across her cheekbones as she looked down at him. "You know I'm here for you, sweetheart. Whatever this is… I'm here." Leia kinked an eyebrow.

"Whatever this is? I thought we'd made that pretty clear." Han shrugged.

"If this war's taught me anything, it's not to take stuff for granted." He lightly brushed a thumb across her cheek, coaxing her to look deep into his kind, loving eyes. "We'll take things at your pace. We'll be whatever you want us to be." As he permitted his gaze to trail from her eyes to her plump, tempting lips, to her exposed collarbone, and finally to the low neckline of her dress and the way that it rested perfectly against her curves. As he returned to her eyes, his own darkened noticeably with a longing shared secretly between the two of them. "Rest assured that I would ravish you right here on this tree stump if you gave me the go-ahead…"

At that, Leia smirked, dropping her head to rest her forehead against his.

" You might want to rethink that," she replied, a hint of desire laced in her own tone, "Luke's behind you." Han frowned, knitting his brow. He couldn't hear a sound.

"Luke?" Glancing around, Han was surprised to spot Luke's recognisable stature in the distance, too far away to be audible. As their friend made his way towards them, Han looked back to Leia with a questioning expression plastered across his face. Leia appeared nonchalant.

"Force thing." Stunned, Han eyed her up and down as she leapt to her feet and moved to meet her brother half-way.

"Leia? Are you alright?" Luke asked, concern etched across his battle-scarred face. Leia nodded bravely, reassured when she felt Han's comforting presence behind her.

"I'm fine. We were just talking…" The siblings shared a look, and instantly, Luke's expression changed to one of understanding.

"About Vader?" Leia responded with a nod, though Luke had never really been seeking confirmation. Behind her, Han rolled his eyes.

"If you two are going to start having secret brain conversations using your weird Force thing, I'm gonna head back to the party." Though acting mock-annoyed, Han's tone was light-hearted. "At least Goldenrod will involve me in his conversations, just because no one else wants to listen." Luke and Leia first grinned at each other, then back at Han.

"Oh, that wasn't the Force," Luke assured him.

"That was a Twin Thing," Leia finished for him, slipping an arm around Han's waist, who shook his head in response.

"Come on. I need another whiskey," he sighed. Together, the trio made their way back through the forest and in the direction of the music. They all had new relationships and connections to untangle and make sense of, but their friendship had survived through a war, and was sure to continue to do so.


End file.
